Tuesday, November 6, 2007

The Paper Capers

We have been driven to steal. It is a sad day. Particularly because I often find myself saying to people "I am a teacher, I don't lie."

Like when I'm in a store trying to return something but I've misplaced the receipt, I might say, "I promise that this was NOT on sale when I bought it...I'm a teacher, you can trust me."

Seriously, teachers are pretty honest people.

But we can be driven to steal.


Let me break it down. In one of my last posts I told you all that my principal recently informed us that we will not be given any paper this year. None. We are teaching sans paper. Nada.

I know, it doesn't make sense to me either.

Does anyone say "Hey there Doctor, just FYI, no bandages this year...not in the budget. Just imagine the bandages or something." The answer is no. No. No one says that. Because it is ridiculous.

Anyway, today was a "Professional Development" day (a.k.a. "Catch Up On Your TV Related Gossip But Secretly Look Like You Are Bubbling In Report Cards Day" or "Sit And Make To Do Lists While Some Random Talks AT You About Your Job Day"). What I am saying is, that we had some free time.

And that's when we mobilized.

When the administration was busy organizing the Worst Free Lunch Ever (seriously, macaroni salad should NOT resemble a soup because of a horrifying amount of mayonaise), three of us ducked down to the basement.

(insert ominous music here)

It was brilliant. Just like Charlie's Angels...except dustier. We skanked around abandoned furniture and slinked around ancient text books until....


Forgotten boxes of paper. As we filled our arms with the precious booty, we considered spreading the word to our other colleagues, but then, as we remembered dirty looks, hallway snubs and the general laziness of some...decided it would be our little secret.

Mmmwwaaaa hahahahahaaaaaa!


Maybe I don't feel too bad about the Great Paper Capers after all.


Jen Barney said...

In the words of the soup nazi.... "No Paper for you!"
You go with your undercover covert op. - Mimi- Mimi Bond that is.

Anonymous said...

Good for you! I was totally hearing the Mission Impossible theme song while I read this.

Mimi said...

I wish my life could be set to theme music...

Anonymous said...

It is totally OKAY to use paper that has been forgotten about. After all, it would be a waste if someone didn't use it. It would end up in a landfill someday. Or else it would stay there for centuries and become an artifact.
"What's this? I don't know. Hey look, you can use this stick on it and it will leave a mark! Is that what they used before we had computers? It could be, I'm not sure. I don't quite understand what you do with it. How do you do all your lessons on something like this without it getting messy and unreadable?"
Use it and don't tell the others. It is your secret treasure. Mystery Teacher
PS Teachers are the biggest thieves of all time. We steal from each other, we steal from others, sometimes we steal from ourselves. I steal paper every time they tell us there is a paper shortage.

17 (really 15) more years said...

I think we should all print our lesson plans on the backs of the useless notices the kids throw out-there's always plenty of paper for the PA bake sale flyers.

Ms M. said...

Fantastic! The front half of y teacher closet looks like an innocent stack of my curriculum books, binders etc. If someone were to dare move the books over and look in the back of the suprisingly deep closet, they would find my secret stash of paper, markers, extra rulers, etc.

Every once in a while they leave the supply door open when the are distributing things and I don't feel at all bad about the fact that I sneak in there and snatch paper, overhead markers, tape, whatever I can carry. Times are tough, you gotta catch what you can!

Jodi said...

Alright! Way to go! I hate the "paper wars". We have hoarding in the upper grades, and after school "borrowing". Some teachers have their box of paper locked up!!!

You go girl!


Anonymous said...

I have totally walked into the office and taken a ream of paper from the box before. But not before looking to make sure no one else is around.

I felt guilty until I realized that I was actually going to use it for educational purposes.

Ms. Junie said...

Just found your blog and i LOVE it. I teach 7 year olds myself..and am saving this blog link to read regularly!! Thank you!

Mimi said...

Thanks for all the support!!!

Pissedoffteacher said...

I used to work for an AP that gave everyone one ream of long and one ream of short paper the first day and that was all we got for the semester. Luckily, my friends were in the AV room so we had access to all the paper we wanted and needed.

In my current school, we have no constraints except that we do run out of paper. I bring paper from the college to the high school. My husband used to take paper from his office for my use too. I also hoard leftover notices and use the backs. The kids never know what will be on the reverse fo the sheet they are working on.

Anonymous said...

I've heard of limiting people to one ream of paper-- which is insane-- but NO PAPER????????

I wonder if that principal is driving a new car. That money had to go somewhere.

blossomteacher said...

mimi, you are hilarious! And good for you...horde that paper!! I just found your blog, and it is exactly what I needed after a verrry long day of teaching kinder!!!

Anonymous said...

I steal paper from the principal's own printer when she is otherwise distracted by sleeping or when she is late to work.

Anonymous said...


Who's Peeking?