Thursday, August 27, 2009

So. Much. Sweating.

So, you know, I have this whole book thing coming out in five days. FIVE DAYS! FIVE FREAKING DAYS!! (Ahem. Perhaps I am overexcited...) Anyhow, yesterday I had a very interesting experience. One that I didn't think would be a big deal, but ended up rendering me a sweaty, babbling, um, I guess there's no other way to say it... idiot.

I KNOW! I usually write about how fabulous I am! This took me by surprise too.

What was the experience? Right...I guess that would be an important little detail. I had my picture taken. For you know, book stuff. That's all.

Or so I thought...

Call me crazy, but I thought that spending my entire working life with forty little eye balls boring into my very being would prepare me for one little old camera. I mean, you know how honest kids can be. And how observant. Yeah, that's what we'll call it - observant.

"Mrs. Mimi, are those new shoes?"

"I like your shoes."

"You have funny hair."

Not so bad. Not so bad at all. However, the above comments are also peppered with these gems:

"What's that red thing on your face?"

"Why does your hair look like that today?"

"You look like you feel sick."

Perhaps they are said with love, perhaps they are said with concern, or perhaps they are said because children have no filter whatsoever. None. At. All. But whatevs...I am the FABULOUS teacher with FABULOUS shoes and a FABULOUS new dress.

Right?

You see, I thought that all these little observations would give me a fairly thick skin when it came to looking at myself critically. But oh my, oh my...looking at hundreds (YES HUNDREDS) of yourself up close and personal and all on the computer is...alarming. Clearly my defense mechanism of choice was to babble on and on. I was all, "I hate myself in pictures, and isn't my hair flat, I know I totally do slouch, I should work on my posture, should I look this way, do I have food in my teeth and ha ha ha THIS IS UNCOMFORTABLE!" I was literally spewing a negative amount of self-confidence, vomiting up insecurities all over the floor.

Hot, right?

And the photographer was so nice. And patient. So very, very patient. Because eventually we got a shot that didn't make me want to run screaming to a remote village without mirrors. Actually, he was able to get a shot that I really like. Despite all my sweating.

Guess I'm just more comfortable with my friends.

13 comments:

Emily said...

My personal favorite..."Your lips look like you need chapstick or something."

Jenny said...

I got the book in the mail a few days ago from Amazon!

Daisy said...

And they wouldn't use your avatar? Tsk.

SmilingTeacher said...

My two "favorite" comments from previous students during allergy season:

"You sound like a pencil sharpner!"

"TAKE COVER!"

bettyb said...

The worst comment ever? You have skin like my grandma.

Sarah said...

My book just shipped! I ordered a copy for my best friend who is a teacher too - I think it'll be a great Christmas present!

splatypus said...

I got the book yesterday and am already 90 pages into it (and am sleepy as a result). IT'S AWESOME. I was worried it would repeat many of the posts I've already read but so far I haven't run into that! I am going to make my husband read it so he "gets it."

Moe said...

Can't wait to read your book Mimi!!!

My favorite is almost exactly the opposite. During student teaching (you can read a little about it on my blog) my kids were asked to write things they liked about me on notes as a going away present. Approximately 15 said "You are pretty" or "You have nice hair" or "Your smile and eyes are nice"

Very few said anything about me as a teacher or my personality. Just looks. But it was sweet any way, and totally cheers me up on a down day.

Jamie said...

My personal fav - "Miss! You FINALLY put some makeup on!"

Cathy said...

My personal fave from a child was when I had tried to make my hair go curly and one of my girls (second grade) looked at me and with a nod (because I guess she could identify) said, "Bad hair day, huh?"

Okay...so if they put your picture with the book...are you still able to stay anonymous?

Natalie Brown said...

I am totally afraid of the camera and I'm a photographer! So I always sympathize with my brides, families, models when they are sweating bullets. Can't wait for the book! The Berg ordered 5 I think. : )
Oh and you don't have to be a teacher to get beauty comments from little friends. I like, "How come your hair is a really dark color next to your part?" Hmm, time to get my hair done I guess.

Erin said...

I was wondering about the anonymity factor, as well. With your picture and, I assume, your real name associated with the book, are you going to run into any issues with The Weave or The Bacon Hunter finding out how you really feel about them?

Mimi said...

Don't worry about me, friends...EVERYone at work already knows how I feel about them (good or bad) - I'm not exactly one to hide my feelings after all.

Who's Peeking?