...To Have No Observable Work Ethic. I guess. I don't think I could look 20 children in the eyes and think to myself, "self, I'm going home early today...screw all that work!" But hey, that's just me. Evidently I take my job a bit more seriously than others.
And the Bacon Hunter saga continues. Sometimes I would just love to pop her. Pop her! But I know that is both unprofessional and unladylike and so it will remain a fleeting day dream. Recurring, but unrealized.
We had a meeting the other day. It is the first time we've really seen her since The Great Bullshit Email of 2009. While we've been walking the halls, heads held high, she's been skanking around corners and laying low in her office. Hmmmm....or maybe she just got a mini-George Foreman, has hidden it under her desk and is busy frying up bacon. Either way, she's avoiding us and not doing any real work. Not that I expect anything else, but still....
So at our meeting the other day, she informed us (all without making eye contact or lifting her head off her hand) that we need to spend approximately three to four hours of our time filing work in student portfolios. So SHE can come around with her clipboard and check to make sure that it's done. Like she's the Portfolio Police or a good example or something. Let me back up a bit, because you may not fully understand how ridiculous this request is. And it is truly ridiculous.
I have no problem with collecting data from my students. I have no problem with worthwhile paperwork. Some paperwork is necessary. I get it. But these portfolios - oh these portfolios!! How can I explain to you these mechanisms of dust collection? Let's see. We've been using them for the last five years. In those five years, the format has changed approximately three times. Each change came complete with hours of re-creating labels and tabs and switching out old tables of contents for new table of contents. Each year I have spent HOURS filing student work into these big black space wasters as they rained buttons, gumballs and pipecleaners from old pre-K projects all over my floor. My Super Colleagues and I have spent HOURS choosing pieces that should be added to the portfolio and creating projects for the sole purpose of eventually putting them in said portfolio.
However, in the five years that we have been "doing portfolios" NO ONE HAS EVER OPENED THEM EXCEPT FOR THE BACON HUNTER. NO ONE. NOT ME, NOT AN ADMINISTRATOR, NOT A PARENT, NO ONE!
Unlike true portfolios, there is NO work that represents the students' perspective. There is no reflection piece. There is nothing of value whatsoever. Really, they are more like a monument to Wasted Time and Space, as I have probably spent 20-25 hours of my working life on these for no real educational purpose.
When we raised these concerns to the Bacon Hunter, for the FIFTH TIME she said (and I quote), "Sometimes you just need to do what you're told."
Um, I don't even say that crap to my eight year old friends! JUST DO WHAT I'M TOLD?