Alternative Title for this post - I Think I Might Throw My First Punch Soon...
Oh man. I am angry. Angry with a capital P-I-S-S-E-D!
I was having this lovely little Friday with my friends...I introduced a group of super excited readers to a new character, conferenced with some writers who are really making progress and ended the day with a therapeutic session of water colors. It was lovely. Everyone was just tired enough to not stir up any trouble, but just awake enough to still get some work done. Even Big Boy and I had a nice day together. I mean, come on!
I dismissed my friends and went back to my sanctuary, I mean kingdom...I mean CLASSROOM to get some work done. My plan was to bang out some preparations for Monday through Wednesday and hop on the early train. Sah-weet! I was practically drooling at the thought of the Grey's Anatomy, Dancing With the Stars Dance Off and 30 Rock episodes waiting for me on my DVR. Hot Friday night, right?
I pause my productivity to check my school email. And there it is. A cyber middle finger waving at me from the computer screen.
I got an email from the Bacon Hunter. (insert dark, evil music here)
I will try to sum up her bullshit in a nutshell. (Please note that I am writing this post on Saturday, not Friday. Because on Friday, all I was capable of was long, curse filled rants, screaming and a little crying. Why do I let this idiot get to me?)
Like many schools around the country, our students were recently subjected to a battery of standardized tests. Many adults are needed to both administer and score these exams. In our school, that means that all the "extra" staff (read: out of the classroom losers....sorry, but it's true at our school) are used to handle these tasks. Bacon Hunter is one of these losers. As a result, she has not been available for our weekly formal Wastes of Time. And by weekly Wastes of Time, I mean the meeting my team is forced to attend so that we can talk about our instruction (read: poke at her to see if she is still awake, pry the bacon out of her hands and/or explain to her what good teaching is...it really depends on the day.)
Whatever, right? Not really her fault, not really our fault. But my team of Super Colleagues and I have continued to meet in her absence because we are amazing and have relished getting so much done. Seriously, the Bacon Hunter is a real drag on our productivity. When she is at the meetings we must repeat things multiple times so that she can take painful notes that serve no educational or professional purpose. I think she just takes them because notebooks make her feel important. Or perhaps she has confused her responsibilities with those of a stenographer. Or maybe she's just a worthless idiot.
Without her, we have rocked it out. We have planned some seriously rad stuff and our kids are totally pumped. Some of the things we were working on have re-energized my teaching and the way my students and I look at math. It's pretty hot.
So keep in mind that all this is going on while she is giving and grading exams. She never emails or speaks to us about her absences, nor does she ask if we need any of her "support."
AND THEN....we get an email from her informing us that she went to the Weave since we have been refusing to meet with her. She is all of a sudden concerned about the infrequency of our formal meetings and BLAMES US. THEN....oh THEN....this freaking moron actually accuses us of NEVER MEETING and IGNORING OUR PROFESSIONAL RESPONSIBILITIES!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (Sorry. I guess I haven't gotten over the screaming....)
So because SHE is a lazy piece of dog poo, she assumes that WE are lazy pieces of dog poo. AND calls into question my/my team's work ethic and professional commitment to our administrator! As icing on the cake, she is demanding that we submit all of our lesson plans from the last month to HER so that we can prove to her that we were working in her absence!
Hold on. I have gotten myself all worked up. I think I need to put my head between my knees for a moment. (If it wasn't 9:30 in the morning, I would definitely substitute deep breathing for a cocktail.)
I read the email and stormed down the hallway where I found two of my other Super Colleagues in similar shock. I was pissed. Another Super Colleague was crying.
Happy Friday everybody! Try to be productive now!