Saturday, April 26, 2008

Walking With Curly

It's almost my version of "Tuesdays with Morrie"...but slightly less inspirational.

(Scene: It's approximately 8:03a.m. I have just picked up my class from the cafeteria and Curly is the line leader. I love it when Curly is the line leader. Although, to be clear, I don't have favorites. Yes, I do. No, I don't. I totally do and he is it. We are walking up the stairs together, one of my favorite times to chat).

Me: Hey Curly.

Curly: Hey Mrs. Mimi. ( eyes shining with a new discovery) Did you know that two lines means you're pregnant and one line means you're not?

Me: Uh....well, yes, I suppose I did know that. What I want to know is how do YOU know that?

Curly: We all sat in the bathroom last night while my mom peed on the stick. And there were two lines. I'm gonna be a big brother...Holla!

(No, I am not embellishing. He said, "Holla!" Can you see why I totally love this kid?)

Me: Wow, that's pretty exciting. But, does your mom know that you're telling people? Sometimes moms want to keep that private for a little while.

Curly: She should have thought about that before she made us all watch her with the stick.

I suppose he has a point.

I'm Ba-aaack!

So, for the many of you who expressed concern at my absence, thank you. And for those of you who said you missed my stories, thank you too. I missed myself also. Where have I been? I have been strung out. Just plain old strung out, and I have missed this so much....it even hurts to write about all of it. And I promised myself that I would keep my blog about SCHOOL (or bitching about school) rather than my life in general (or bitching about my life..)

In fact, all of this has resulted in one of the most impressive To Do Lists of all time. And, if you happen to know me personally, you know I loves me a good list...especially one with multiple categories or some nice color coding. I practically drool as I input all of this lovely organizational goodness into my new found joy - the iTouch. However, even this list intimidated me, the List Lover. If I'm honest, I will admit that it sent me into a catatonic state at times...and at other times it rendered me a raving lunatic. Sexy, right?

And on my long commutes home, as I frantically tried to manage my dwindling time effectively, I began to get angry. Very angry. I mean, just how far can the proverbial buck be passed?? And just how many times am I going to be there to accept it???! I figure, that if I had one dollar for every "buck" that was passed my way, I would no longer have to work. Ever. Again.

Let me give you a few examples....

Buck #1:

We get back from a field trip (you know how I feel about field trips). It was a great time, but I have not eaten or peed in like 10 hours despite providing time for all my students to engage in those activities. We are 10 minutes late for music (which would be my free prep period and a blessed opportunity to scarf down a PB and J and pee....again, sexy, yes?). We run into the music teacher in the hallway.

Me: Oh great! I'll bring them right up!!
Him: Huh?
Me: It's our music time and I really could use a few minutes to use the ladies room and eat my lunch. I'll bring them...
Him : (interrupting me....jerk!) Yea, I don't feel like it anymore and it's too late now.
Me: (Where to begin....) Um, I'm not sure it's really about 'what you feel like doing.' I
Him: They're your class, you deal with it. Teachers are so prep-hungry.

Oh no he didn't!!!!!

But unfortunately, yes he did. And in front of my little friends, I could not spew forth the profanities that were brewing in my mind. Instead, I sighed, crossed my legs and went upstairs.

Buck #2:

It is the morning of our field trip. (Why do I put myself through this?) The Weave has planned this trip so I should have known that some serious buck-passing was about to occur. Sure enough.

Ring!! I answer the phone. She asks me if I remembered to order the lunches from the cafeteria. I say no, because I did not plan the trip. She says that there are no lunches. I ask her what we are supposed to do without lunches for 80 children. She tells me to work it out.

No wonder they pay her more.

Buck #3:

A few of the teachers talk to the principal about all the fighting that is happening at recess. We express our concern that the lunch aides are reading the paper rather than monitoring children. We remind him of the angry parents who have also screamed their concern. He suggests that we handle recess ourselves rather than pick on the aides.

Perfect. The dollars just keep piling up, don't they?

Buck #4....or do I even need to go on....

And you wondered why I took such a long break.

(Just FYI, I won't do that again until the end of the year. I swear.)

Who's Peeking?