You Can Pick Your Friends, And You Can Pick Your Nose, But You Can't Pick Your Friend's Nose

I'm lucky, because this year my kids are rockstars. Although, at times, I have to admit that all the social drama going on this year is a bit new to me. In previous years, we fought and tattled on each other but I never really experienced the intricate dramas or social coups that are currently blossoming in my classroom. Before it was, "He looked at me!" or "He farted!". Now don't get me wrong, we still throw around accusations when someone lets one fly on the carpet, but we spice it up a bit with note passing, behind-the-back B.S. and ostrasizing those who aren't the most popular. I am slowly navigating that delicate balance between allowing them to work out their own problems and negotiate their own friendships and being the raging dictator that preys on jerks and rips them new ones.

Many of you were horrified by the parent who threatened to shave her daughter's head after her daughter forged a signature (see Crime and Punishment below because I'm too damn lazy to make it a link...) I too was horrified. And continue to be horrified that girfriend still has not got her self together. I mean, dude, you could be bald if I write one more note home...

I did get some juicy back story about that whole situation though...juicy juicy tales of second grade manipulation.

SO....

For the sake of this story, we will refer to the friend in my class as Close Call for obvious reasons.

There is another little second grade friend in the class next door. We'll call her Not So Lucky. Not So Lucky 's teacher sent a note home one day after Not So Lucky had spent the entire day being disruptive. Rather than show the note to her parents, Not So Lucky forged her parent's signature. Long story short, mom found out and Not So Lucky got her head shaved. Bald. Totally bald. So you can see why I am calling her Not So Lucky, yes?

A sidenote...the worst thing my mom did to me when I was little was to stand me in the corner. That's it. Just the corner. I stood in the corner in full possession of my hair. Granted, she was pissed when I proceeded to peel all the wallpaper off that particular corner, but I still maintained all my hair.

Back to the story. So Close Call gets a note home (from yours truly) a few days later. She confides in Not So Lucky that she is scared to show it to her mom. (Should have thought about that before you decided to pass in crap work and roll your eyes at other adults, friend.) Not So Lucky tells her to forge her mom's signature.

Ok, hold on.

Close Call has been lazy lately, but she's a smart girl...or at least I thought she was.

Why would you listen to your friend who got her head shaved after she forged her own mother's signature when she tells you to do the same thing?

I mean, duh!

Although you have to give Not So Lazy props for the sophisticated social manipulation. Maybe she's secretly working to make bald the new cool hairstyle for girls. You know, all big earrings and scarves? Very Samantha from season 6 of Sex and the City??

Highly doubt it...you got played Close Call!

I feel old as I am about to say this (and a bit like my mom) but I think it's appropriate....Close Call, if your friend jumped off a bridge would you do it too??

And hopefully, this is the end of that story.