After a very rejuvenating and well-deserved long weekend, I returned to work today ready to go!! My classroom was ready, thanks to a late night on Friday (I know, I’m the coolest on a Friday night) and I felt remotely rested.
At our team planning meeting, we talked about our next unit in science. After developing ideas about living vs. non-living things, we are going to start working with soil The kids need to classify different types of soil, examine what is in the soil and begin to think about water retention in soil (I could tell them a thing or two about water retention … but that’s for another day).
We are ready to go.. psyched to plan….pens are out and poised anxiously above the page waiting for genius to issue forth from our lips. And then:
Me: Uh, (Yes, I started with “uh”. You know I’m bound to be brilliant when I start with “uh”) so, do we have any soil to use?
Team mate: Uh (equally brilliant), no.
Me: Hm. Interesting.
Team mate: I guess we could go to the park and dig some up.
Me: That’s sad.
In walks Ms. Weavilicious, vice-principal du jour. Awesome. We’ll ask her.
Me: So, is there any soil for us to use in the science lab for our new unit?
Ms. W: No.
Team mate: We’re struggling with how to get through this next series of lessons on soil without any, um, soil.
Ms. W.: You can work it out.
Team mate: Do you have any ideas for us?
Ms. W.: I’m sure you can find pictures of dirt somewhere. Just have them imagine the dirt.
Ah, yes! Why didn’t we think of that? Imagine the dirt boys and girls. Oh, boys and girls, did you know that sometimes scientists sit quietly in a room and imagine the thing they want to study. Then they write down what they learned by using their imagination. Science is all make believe! We can all really fly! The Tooth Fairy is real! When a bell rings, an angel gets its wings!
As you can see, the bullshit is so deep that I’m starting to lose my grip on reality. I guess I’m off to the garden center.