Who Doesn't Love a Good Sock Puppet? Um, Me I Guess...

Who Doesn’t Love a Good Sock Puppet??

Happy Monday everyone!! As I strolled into school today, I wondered what the week would bring, what new anecdotes I would have for my blog, juicy tidbits for my friends…and then I realized…it is time to introduce a new character into the mix. We shall refer to him as the Sock Puppet.

Why the Sock Puppet you ask? Ah, well, this particular “teacher” is actually our speech teacher. And what does helping young children with speech issues have to do with sock puppets you ask? Good question! I have no idea! I just know that when my students get pulled out of class for speech services, they seem to be making sock puppets SILENTLY or playing chess SILENTLY in his classroom. I hope you pick up what I’m putting down here…the SPEECH teacher makes them work SILENTLY so he can work on his screen-play about his divorce. Yea, read that sentence again, ‘cuz it’s for real. (I know about this mythical screen play because my friend in 3rd grade allowed him to do a read aloud in front of her after-school drama group. Yes, my fellow teachers, he read from his screen-play about his divorce entitled “The Worst Year of My Life”. Now, I can’t even imagine how difficult going through a divorce must be, but I DO know that there are probably more appropriate ways of working through things…)

So that is tidbit #1 about the Sock Puppet. Onto tidbit #2…just so you can get a complete picture of who we are dealing with here. The Sock Puppet is one of 5 heterosexual males in the building. Unlike Mr. Big White Guitar who chooses to speak to the breasts of his lady co-workers, the Sock Puppet is merely an insanely close talker. Close talking may seem much less harmless than breast ogling, however I neglected to mention that the Sock Puppet is crazy creepy. He brings whole cucumbers to lunch and eats them like apples. I mean, I like cucumbers, but dude…

(Can you tell that the gossip at my school is slightly OUT OF CONTROL?? I blog in an effort to keep it to myself…ironic, I know…)

Today, the Sock Puppet intercepts me on the way to pick up my class from their prep. He walks along side me, talking about his future schedule for one of my students who receives speech services. He tells me that he would love to spend more time with me and that he thinks it would be wonderful to service my student (ew!) in the classroom during writer’s workshop.

I think you could audibly hear the sound of screeching brakes as I turned to deal with this potential disaster.

Suddenly my tranquil writer’s workshops flashed before my eyes. The image was then replaced by the Sock Puppet’s frequent interruptions, inappropriate stories about his way-too-personal life and hours of him hashing over lessons just mere inches from my face…

Me: Um, I really think that my friend could use the individual attention that one on one services provide when you pull them out. (Sorry B…didn’t mean to throw you under the bus like that but it’s only 20 minutes a week!! I swear I’ll make it up to you!!)

He seemed momentarily caught off guard, but then he leaned in REAL close and said, “Good idea.”

Phew. Dodged a bullet on that one…