New Year, New Fanny Pack

That’s right, today was our first day back for in-service meetings. And if you are unfamiliar with the Fanny Pack to which I refer, let me encourage you to read one of my earlier posts entitled "What You Got In That Fanny Pack?" I lovingly refer to this waste of budget dollars, I’m sorry, I meant “colleague”, yes, colleague as Ms. Chapped Ass Fanny Pack. Well friends, I thought you would appreciate that it is all new and very snazzy. It’s a lovely synthetic material with a high gloss sheen in a jubilant shade of red. It screams, “Look at me!! I have no idea how to do my job!” Really, I feel as if the red is a little much, it’s almost taunting me, like this is the year that I will finally sneak a peek inside. I noticed it when she cut in the line for lunch. Wait, let me say that again. SHE CUT IN LINE AT LUNCH!! I’m sorry, aren’t we all adults? And, shouldn’t we all be on our very best behavior on the first day? She just sidled up to the table, licking her oh-so-chapped lips, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. Then suddenly was in front of me touching all the tuna salad wraps with her hands. The whole thing really just warmed my heart…I mean, we’re just right back into it, aren’t we…

So, this year we are meeting at a lovely conference center, rather than meeting in classrooms stacked with boxes. It feels very fancy pants, I must admit. We even got some hot swag – canvas totes and key chains…holla!! (Can’t you just hear “Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now” playing the background??). I joke about it, but it is nice to start the year off on this distinctly more professional note. And I think, for the most part, the staff reciprocated with professional behavior. Yet, being the sarcastic and fairly outspoken (that’s what I like to call it…my husband says “judgmental”. I say a rose by any other name…), I did notice the following professional gems:

1. Our favorite staff developer (a.k.a. The Bacon Hunter) answering her cell phone during our principal’s welcome back speech. Love the Rump Shaker ring tone!! Please read one of my earliest posts entitled "Just Trying To Do My Job" if you want more about that particular "colleague".
2. Mr. Big White Guitar hitting on EVERY single new teacher. It was priceless to watch the recognition/horror register on their faces as they moved from being friendly to realizing that he was only talking to their breasts. Hey!! They are all like a full foot taller than you!! Back off!! Go tune your guitar and take a cold shower…
3. Several teachers sharing their personal passions…the highlights included “eating,” “spending money,” “watching TV,” and “smoking.” Seriously, “smoking.” Dude, I like to eat, I certainly can get my shop on and Lord knows I loves me a juicy reality TV show or two, but couldn’t ya come up with something else?? Or just make something up…

I did promise my good friend L. that this was going to be our year of being positive, staying upbeat and not getting bogged down in all the negativity. So, after I post this I solemnly swear that today, I will not judge.

Tomorrow may be another story.